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biggest killer of positivity

The Biggest Killer of Positivity

If you’re faint of heart, or especially fond of social media, this post is not for you. I have a very strong opinion on this topic (partially influenced by my own experiences and partially by research studies), which is very close to my heart.  So, I thought I should end the year by just letting it all out of my system. In this post I talk about the biggest factor that kills most of our positivity, but I would be very interested in hearing your opinion on this topic as well.

So, if you have a few minutes to find out what I think, please read on and leave me a comment below.

The Main Problem

In my opinion, we generally have one main problem that kills all our “positive” traits in life.  Traits like positivity or optimism, creativity, productivity, longevity, vitality, and credibility. And that main problem is addiction. I don’t mean addiction to cigarettes, drugs or alcohol. I’m referring to a different kind of addiction.

Definition of addiction

According to the definition found on, it refers to the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming.

#1 killer of positivity

In my opinion, addictions is the number one killer of positivity in the modern day. And the addiction I’m referring to here is Social Media. In this day and age of smartphones and tablets, everyone seems to be the proud owner of at least one such device. Now, there’s nothing wrong in that.  But what is really wrong is that we can’t seem to let go of our devices. We wake up holding them in our hands, we go to bed holding them in our hands, and I’m sure some even fall asleep holding them in their hands.

The biggest reason why we can’t let go of our devices is because we’re constantly checking our various social media networks, especially Facebook, to see what other people are posting, commenting on, sharing and how many likes our own posts have received. We’re posting a million selfies a day, photos of what we’re eating, what we’re wearing, where we’re going and what have you. Nothing wrong in doing all that, until it becomes an annoyance for others on your friends list.  All they see are a gazillion updates in a day from the same person. I’ve personally unfollowed people who do that.

Negative effects of Facebook

Each to their own, I have nothing against people who are always seeking attention and validation on social media. But what it really does to those people is disrupt family life, work, and sleep!  Staying socially connected is one thing, and leading a virtual life through social media is quite another story. It only serves to create a feeling of lack and scarcity because our newsfeed is filled with “accomplishments and acquisitions” of other friends and family members. A lot of studies done on the negative effects of social media actually show people feeling depressed and miserable after spending time on Facebook.

So let’s talk about why we develop addictions. It’s mainly because we don’t have anything to motivate us and there’s an inherent lack of positivity.  I was there at one time in my life when I was a heavy smoker. However, good sense prevailed after many years and I gave it up almost a decade ago.  But I digress, because I mentioned right at the outset that this post is not about the regular addictions as we know them.

We’re living life in a state of inertia brought on by our addictions that keep us in a state of  inaction. Does anyone ever need to ask us to indulge our addiction as in “Hey! Why don’t you go spend some time on Facebook?”  In fact, someone might need to sometimes ask us to get off Facebook and this is especially true of teenagers.

Selfie society

However, don’t discount the adults either.  I once saw a cartoon that showed a man taking a selfie in front of his burning house and the message was something like “And not to forget a selfie before I escape the burning house”!  We might laugh about this, but it really has become a selfie society!

If we’re just going through the motions of our day with zero motivation, we’re bound to go off on the wrong track.  There needs to be a big motivational force for us to avoid veering off the right path to the wrong one.

I’ll get hammered for this statement for saying this, but I see people sharing all kinds of violent and graphic images on social media all the time and I find it hard to explain or accept.  I understand there is a great reason for doing so, namely to raise awareness.

But most people share pictures and make very seemingly scholarly comments on their posts.  It’s also great to have a dialogue with people on these serious topics.  But I do believe that the way to stop the violence in the world is not by just sharing disturbing images on social media and going off on a rant. You can stir up some comments and controversy for a few minutes, but that’s unlikely to help the world.  Something needs to be done alongside that so these kinds of images will never be taken or need to be shared.  Every little drop of water in the ocean counts!

Agreed that not all of us can start a revolution or pick up a cause and raise our voices where they’ll be heard.  But one can take the smallest step towards positivity and cure the addictions and set someone on the path of finding oneself.  Being on the right track will stop a lot of violence and crime in our modern day world, IMHO!

Plummeting productivity

How many times have you checked your Facebook, Instagram and Twitter feeds today?  If you’ve answered “more than twice”, then I think you know what I’m referring to.  Most people get on one of the social media networks and get lost in them for hours on end.

What results is a gross loss of productivity.  You don’t end up completing the tasks you were meant to and you log out with a feeling of remorse realizing you’ve lost precious time.  Not to mention “feeling down” because you just saw some photos of your friends hanging out having fun on a Friday evening with some friends, and you’re not able to do the same for whatever reason.

That leaves you feeling sad for the rest of the day or evening and you’ve lost more of your precious time, just destroyed your mood and now feel sorry for yourself.  Worse, you hate your current situation and have no clue what to do!

We can all help

We all have the ability to help another human being from going astray. We also have the ability to recognize our own potential and live up to it.  Parents with young children, could definitely set great examples that the kids can follow.

I say this with a heavy heart because I know that I wasn’t able to do this for my son when he was growing up.  Being a single parent with no support systems, I had to resort to allowing my son to watch TV or play on the computer just to keep him out of the kitchen while I was cooking.

While I kept him safe from the obvious dangers, I didn’t quite keep him safe from the imminent dangers of technology addiction. But the universe has been kind to me in more ways than I can count, and my son, a strapping 20-year old is now well on his way to being a great human being, even if I say so.

Find your “big why” in life

In order to avoid going through the motions of life simply because we have to, it’s imperative to find the one source of motivation that will keep us on the path to following our dreams. Most people fail at living the life they really can and want and live up to who they really are.

The only reason is because most of us have grown up hearing we can’t do it, we’re thinking too big, we’re dreaming impossible dreams.  We are told all these things by our well-meaning and loving parents and families.  However, studies show that people can change their mental conditioning and it doesn’t take too long to do that.

Recondition your mindset

If you feel that you can’t change your mindset, you’re in for a huge surprise!  The latest research in neuroscience shows that our brains can develop new habits even when we’re in our sixties.  We’re only limited by our limiting beliefs.  The brain develops new neural pathways that create new habits.  There are ways you can work on creating these neural pathways and create new habits in as little as 21 days.

So, if you were thinking that you just aren’t lucky enough, rich enough, pretty enough, slim enough, smart enough – rethink!  You still have hopes of re-training your brain on an abundance mindset rather than a scarcity mindset!  You can develop new habits that will help you achieve all the things that you envy in the people you follow on social media.

Imagine, if you could just wake up to a new you in the new year, just because you decided you’d had enough of the wishing and you need more of the doing and a lot more positivity. Please feel free to grab the 2017 Planning Guide that I have up on the website, or just email me and I can send it to you. It will definitely show you a better way of living and being and it’s guaranteed to work!

Until next year – stay focused on positivity!

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